


This Is A Fight To The Death - We Will Rise Again (Stucky)

by majesticdragonair



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: (it's one and brief), Anal Sex, Eventual Romance, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Panic Attacks, Porn With Plot, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Safe Sane and Consensual, Smut, Vaginal Sex, so much porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 14:12:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14956149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/majesticdragonair/pseuds/majesticdragonair
Summary: Steve didn't like saying Natasha was his replacement - because she wasn't. She was her own person, someone who'd wormed her way into Steve's life as more than just a friend, but not a lover either. She was someone Steve had never had before, someone who reminded him too much of Peggy on some days.But she wasn't a replacement, because last time he checked, he never had sex with Bucky Barnes.





	This Is A Fight To The Death - We Will Rise Again (Stucky)

**Author's Note:**

> would you believe me if i told you i thought of this in the shower and left it with shampoo in my hair still just to write this down. no? welp, i did that. it took me two weeks to write but it's worth it i love this.
> 
> i wanted to thank rikun also, who listen to me rant about this idea the entire time i was fleshing it out, and for being the supportive bean she is. this is for her ╰(◡‿◡✿╰)
> 
> title from conquistador by tstm

When Steve had sex now, he always had to hold back his strength, make sure his fingers weren’t vice enough to bruise or worse. Natasha always told him to let go a bit whenever they got like this, and sometimes he did, allowing his fingers to grip her hips and pull away to show the purple marks of the same shapes of his fingers on her milky skin. She liked looking at them the next day, running her fingers over them.

Right now? Right now, Steve was panting into the junction between her neck and shoulder, thrusting slowly into her wet heat, hearing the way she gasped around him every time he hit her where she needed it. Her hands were a vice on his biceps, leaving bruises that Steve would marvel the same way she would if not for the serum.

She allowed Steve to kiss her anywhere he asked for, told him to bite anywhere that wouldn’t be visible the next day. She always told him she liked the pain, liked feeling used by someone she trusted.

“Steve…” her voice was low as she sunk into the bed, letting Steve know she had released right after he had, leaving them panting together tiredly. He eventually pulled out and tied off the condom, chucking it into the waste bin next to the bed before lying down next to Natasha, watching her breathe gently, eyes closed as she dozed gently.

“Steve?”

He looked at her face, seeing her smirk before rolled closer to him. Natasha didn’t always like cuddling, but on good days like these, asked him silently to pull her close as they fall asleep slowly but all at once. He could safely admit that he loved her, that Natasha was the closest friend he had in this century.

But he wasn’t in love with her – there was a difference.

Natasha fell asleep quickly against him, and Steve followed behind him shortly, her soft skin against his own soothing him as their breathing slowed.

Natasha was there in the mornings, but that’s fine, because there was nothing between them. Never would be.

-

Steve was thrown through hell for a week after that, and he never thought a morning run with Sam would lead to a mission that would kill Fury (at least, to the public eye). He was hunted down by HYDRA and The Asset, who was his dead best friend who was less dead and more alive, and now he was being pushed against a wall by Natasha, who looked as tired as he was.

She kissed with passion, with intent and always determined to get what she wants. He liked that about her, and often indulged in it. But right now, he could only picture long hair and steel eyes staring into his soul with a need to know who he was staring at. Natasha must’ve noticed because she pulled back, her hair curtains around her face as she studied him.

“Something’s on your mind.”

Steve grinned at her slightly, forced but still real, none the less. “Yeah.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “If it’s that Sharon lady we were- “

“I don’t like her, Natasha. Not like that,” he quickly amened, before gently pushing her away. She moved away, not looking upset and only narrowing her eyes at Steve, trying to figure him out.

He moved to walk away, to head to the kitchen and eat something that wasn’t plain old hospital food. He felt Natasha’s eyes burning into him, and he shivered while trying to ignore it. That blank stare she always gave reminded Steve so much of the look _he_ gave-

“It’s Bucky.”

Steve turned to her abruptly, hand on the fridge and allowing the light to shine on his smooth skin, showing off his wide-eyed gaze. “Pardon?”

Natasha stalked forward. “You’re thinking about Bucky.”

Steve looked at her for a few seconds, but there was no way he was getting out of this one. Instead of trying to argue with her, he just sighed and pulled out the loaf of bread, pulling out margarine after he placed the first item on the bench. “Want a sandwich?”

“You’re not deflecting me, Rogers. This is important, why- “

“He pulled me from the river, Natasha. I know it was him, nobody else was there to do it,” Steve barked, before composing himself quickly. He still didn’t turn back to her, leaning against the bench and looking down, hair pressing to his forehead. It felt too greasy – he needed a shower after he ate. “I nearly died, and he saved my life. He remembered me, Natasha! He…”

His voice died off when Natasha placed a firm hand on his shoulder, and then they were looking at each other, staring openly at the other’s features. Natasha placed her other hand on his cheek, rubbing her thumb over the bone slowly. “Steve,” her voice was just as slow, and it soothed Steve’s ears and nerves. “It’s not your fault, Steve.”

Natasha read him like a book, read everyone like a book. “You couldn’t have known that he was alive, okay? I know you read the file I gave you yesterday, and about what HYDRA did to him, but none of that is your fault.”

“I know,” Steve croaked gently, but he bit back. “I just feel like I should’ve done more to help him. He was… tortured, Natasha. My best friend was tortured when nobody else knew he was alive, and I feel like that’s on me.”

Natasha didn’t do anything but sigh, pushing him back slightly. She snorted at the contents on the bench. “This conversation isn’t over. But for now, you’re taking a shower because you smell horrible. I’ll make us some real food, got it?”

He didn’t argue.

 

“I’m going to go look for him,” Steve said hours later, when they were lying in bed with nothing but the sheets to cover them.

Natasha was on the other side of the bed, hand over her chest. She didn’t want to cuddle tonight, and Steve is unsure whether he could’ve cuddled her back if she wanted it anyway. “I know you are.”

“Sam said he’ll help me.”

The redhead snorted. “Of course, he did.”

The next morning, before Natasha left, she kissed his cheek gently. He was still in bed, half asleep by now. “If you ever need my help with finding him, you know my number.”

He smiled at her gently and watched her walk out, dozing back to sleep when he heard the soft click of the front door.

-

“I didn’t realise how much they like you here.”

Steve had been spending more time with Sam and Natasha, now that S.H.I.E.L.D. wasn’t a problem and he was out of the job for the time being. That meant visiting the VA more and much, much more sex with Natasha, which was a bonus in both parks.

Steve grinned at Sam, the two of them out to dinner for the evening. “What can I say, I’m charming.”

Sam snorted, but took a swig of his drink in oppose to arguing back, which Steve counted as agreement. They ate slowly with conversation dripping from their mouths, their food having gone colder by the time they had finished, the moon overhead instead of the setting sun now.

Sam straightened up after a laugh was passed between the two, and suddenly a heavy air settled above them. It was serious now. “We need to talk about Bucky.”

Steve nodded, but didn’t say anything. “What’s the plan?”

“I’ve been tracking him since Natasha gave me the file; he’s kinda easy to find. But he keeps moving places quickly,” Steve answered back, taking a sip of his juice before continuing. “He doesn’t really have a pattern either, just moving every few days.”

Sam nodded. “So, next time we catch wind that he moves we go in and find him?”

Steve nodded. “I… guess, yeah.”

-

By the time they got to the apartment in Amsterdam, Bucky had already moved out of the place, leaving a small studio with a messy kitchen and an unmade bed in the living space. Steve only stared at the room with a forlorn gaze, shield dropping from his arm and to the floorboards with a clang.

Sam walked up to him slowly. “He’s not here Steve. But he was here recently.”

Steve nodded slowly. “He knew we were coming…”

Sam only looked at him sadly, but he nodded. Steve let his knees sink to the ground, covering his face with a gloved hand and sighing heavily. Sam placed a hand on his shoulder, but it nearly went unnoticed. Steve sat there for what could’ve been minutes or hours.

-

“Steve?”

Steve didn’t say anything and pulled Natasha against him suddenly, and her voice caught when he shoved a thigh between her legs, pushing her against the wall to get leverage. Natasha allowed him to manhandle her, and soon enough she was being pushed into the bed by her shoulder blades, mouth open and small sounds slipping out of her as he fucked her with no abandon. He pulled at her red hair and her milky skin, leaving bruises that would last days and Natasha would marvel at every morning.

Even after she’d orgasmed, Steve didn’t stop until he was rocking into her and milking himself out until he was sated. He was panting heavily, even after he removed the condom. Natasha watched him for a few moments as they calmed down. “Are you better now?”

Steve looked at her tiredly and kissed her lips gently, hesitantly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t- “

Natasha shoved him slightly, smirking. “You didn’t hurt me, you big oaf. You clearly needed it.”

Steve only nodded tiredly, and they sagged against each other under the sheets and feel asleep. The next morning, just as the sun was rising, Steve woke up with a petite hand wrapped around his cock and stroking him into hardness, and Steve didn’t go out for his morning run that day.

-

It continued like this for months, until Tony Stark appeared at his door one lonely morning with a manila folder in hand, budging with so many papers Stark had to hold it under his arm to keep it all together.

“Would you like to come in?” Steve asked, and Stark’s signature smile grew as he accepted the offer with a “I would’ve come in anyway, Captain.”

“These are files on the Winter Solider, gathered around the world,” Tony explained once they’d both had half a coffee in their stomachs. Steve nodded, grip tighter on the mug suddenly, not thirsty anymore.

“And why are you bringing them here?”

Tony moved his glasses to look at Steve with a proper incredulous gaze, opening the folder a second later. “Because you’re looking for him, and I caught wind of it. Thought I’d help.”

Steve moved his mug away. “And why would you do that?”

“Because then you’d owe me, Rogers. And you seem like an honest man.”

Steve sighed. “What do you want, Tony?”

“Come back and join the Avengers with us.”

-

Moving was always a weird feeling to Steve because he didn’t do it often. He moved only once before the war, when it was out of his family home and into a tiny apartment with Bucky and-

He took a deep breath. He was alone and nobody else was here, and he was fine. He was fine, and he could breathe.

The entire space Steve got to himself -which was an entire floor, god damnit Stark- was maybe about three times bigger than his apartment from downtown Brooklyn maybe seventy years beforehand. He didn’t spend much time in it, could never spend too much time by himself in silence without going at least a little bit crazy. It was always down at the gym with Sam, listening to Bruce rant along to himself, go out with Thor to show him the sights, even shooting with Clint for the experience.

Or he had Natasha over. But he could see that it happened less now, those nights that would throw them into another world where they didn’t have to worry about their problems. They only happened as much as Steve needed them, coming back from the missions with Sam and nothing else other then another location crossed off their list.

“Captain Rogers, there is a meeting being held in office room number eight. You are required for it to begin.”

Steve would probably never get use to the voice of JARVIS echoing not only in his head but around the room, but he always listened to the A.I, getting to the meeting in record time. Everyone was there, including Fury, who sat at the end of the table with his usual frown on his face.

A few seconds after he sat down, Clint raced in and sat in the only free seat. Fury stood up after that and chucked a stack of what looked like report papers in the middle of the table. HYDRA was written of them in thick, red pen, and everyone looked at Steve.

“What’s this?”

“HYDRA bases have been spotted across Europe, unsurprisingly. A few of my troops went through one in Switzerland and found… well, experiments would be the best word for them. They raided the place and arrested some of the spies, but there’s hundreds more.”

Steve looked over the files sparingly, passing them once he laid eyes on a name that was all too familiar in his mind. Thor took them before clearing his voice, “And I suppose you want us Avengers to help?”

“Yes.”

It was a blur after that, in which Steve only remembers them bringing up a plastic map and pinning the locations of the known HYDRA bases – over two dozen confirmed and so many more speculations. Their first mission would be at the end of the week – in Spain, one hundred kilometres outside of Malaga, but it wasn’t a holiday, Fury reminded them.

-

It was a routine Steve had going for months – one mission a week, sometimes to find Bucky or to go after HYDRA with the team. He hated the way his teammates looked at him at first, sympathy in their eyes because they knew how much destroying HYDRA meant to Steve, but it stopped after a while. Steve loved them all differently, and it took him a long time to admit to himself that this was his family now, and he wasn’t really complaining.

They had another meeting, just after lunch. Fury looked less than impressed (than again, when did he ever look different?).

“There is someone else who is destroying HYDRA with us.”

Steve sat up instantly, because who else would be following them slowly and help them take out a seventy-year-old terrorist group behind the lines? His mind was bubbles as Fury went on about how the bases were falling faster than they should’ve been.

“We’ve caught a few photographs of the man, and… well Captain, I’m sure you’d like to see these.”

He did.

They were blurry and some of them were discreet, but Steve only knew one man with a metal arm for his left limb. Natasha, who was seated to his right, held his hand tightly as he stared at the printed photographs in front of him.

“For now, we leave it. He isn’t posing as a threat to us, but he isn’t coming directly to us either, which leads me to believe he wants to be left alone for now. I’ll keep you updated, meeting over.”

-

“Steve?”

“Sam,” Steve’s voice took over with a sigh as he hit his head on the pillow. “Sam, I think we have to stop.”

“Going after Bucky, you mean?” Sam’s voice was crackled due to the cell phone connection, and Steve wondered briefly if he’d interrupted him. He was too selfish to ask.

“He… clearly doesn’t want to be found,” Steve said around a lump in his throat, because he didn’t want to believe that. “He obviously knows what we’re doing and knows he can reach out if he wants, so…”

Sam was quiet on the other line, and Steve felt anxious until he responded. “He’ll come to us when he’s ready, Steve, just give him some time. This must be difficult for him too, you have to remember that.”

“I know.”

-

“Natasha- “

She grinned and pressed a thin forefinger to his lips, pushing him back onto the couch and straddling his lap. “Shh, let me take over Rogers. You’re stressed.”

He didn’t argue with her, allowing her to slowly unwind them with her lips and hands, eventually covering Steve with protection and then sinking down onto him slowly, causing them both to groan with relief as the stress practically seeped out of them at the motion. Natasha, whilst she loved the feeling of Steve pinning her down and relentlessly take over, loved to take control over Steve like this. Steve thought it was hot, even if the blunt thoughts made him blush terribly.

“We have a mission tomorrow,” Natasha mumbled gently, prompting her to kiss him slowly before she climbed out of bed. Steve watched her with a lazy gaze, no way sexual as he watched the way she dressed. Her movements were always so quiet, her years of training never getting her out of the habit of always being quiet. He briefly wondered if Bucky was like that now-

“Steve, I need you to breathe for me.”

He didn’t notice the way he was clutching the pillow with a death grip or the way he’d clenched his eyes shut, his entire body shaking with his panicked breathing. Natasha stroked his hair gently with a sad smile on her lips, as if she was reading his mind. Steve wouldn’t put it passed her.

“S-Sorry,” he croaked afterwards, sipping on the water in the glass Natasha handed him after he’d calmed down. “I haven’t had an asthma attack in years, I didn’t think I could have one any…”

He slowed down his words when he saw the way Natasha looked at him, and they didn’t talk anymore, sitting until Natasha had to leave. Steve didn’t sleep that night.

-

Germany. Steve had a lot of bad memories associated with this country, but it’s not like he could blame them himself. He lifted his wrist to his mouth, “Locations everyone. Can you see me?”

“Aye aye Captain, Metal Head and I are above you,” Sam’s voice echoed.

“I told you not to call me that, you- “

“Clint and I are driving behind you,” Natasha cut off Tony’s voice quickly, but he could imagine crystal clear the way she was smirking.

“You’re right, Tash, he does have a nice ass.”

Steve sighed and let himself laugh silently for a quick second before he got his act back together quickly. “Alright guys, you know the plan. Sam and Tony, let me know of your positions when we get there. Natasha, you’re knocking down the place when we get there. Clint, you’re with me. We don’t have Bruce with us, so be careful. We don’t have a big guy to come after us if we get in a pickle.”

“I hate it when you say that term,” Tony muttered into the mic (apparently in a grumpy mood today), but him and Sam headed higher into the trees. Natasha drove her bike up against Steve’s and let Clint swiftly switch to sit behind Steve, letting Natasha take a different route to get to the base.

Clint tapped his shoulder before yelling into his ear, “She likes you!”

Steve snorted, tipping his head back to meet his eyes. “I would dead if she didn’t.”

They left it at that, because the trees ahead of them began to part and lead into a clearing, a building unmarked on the map sitting there in the clearing. Steve quickly ditched the bike and grabbed his shield, not having to pull Clint aside and into the bushes, residing to Clint’s left. Steve had a perfect view of Tony now, suited up fully and flying around right behind the main tree lines. He lifted his wrist to his mouth again, “Natasha.”

He heard two footsteps behind him before Natasha was crouching to his left, lifting her own wrist to speak into her comm. “Only one entrance, we’re looking at it boys. There’s heat signatures inside, no radio. I think there’s basement floors, like the last one we got to, because the bottom of the building is less decayed then the rest of it.”

Steve nodded. “Alright. Clint, shoot down the lock on the door. They should hear it.”

Clint nodded. He spoke less on missions because he had his hearing aids down for the comms, but he grinned at the Captain before lifting his bow, arrow resting for the second he aimed before it fired off, smashing the lock to bits and causing it to fly in the air. The sound echoed around them of metal on metal clanging together loudly, and the group of five seem to pause and tense in anticipation.

Finally, after what could’ve been minutes, the metal deadlock opened slowly, and three scientists poured out. They examined the lock on the ground and seemed to mutter to themselves quietly, and while they were preoccupied, Steve raised his fist to his mouth, muttering a quiet “now.”

Three shots fired off at the same time, and Steve watched as Natasha pulled the trigger to her already aimed handgun, the bullet flying through the smallest HYDRA worker’s throat and causing him to drop dead instantly. The other two shots came from the trees above them, landing in the lungs of the other two spies, causing them to drop to the ground and open their mouths for the blood to pour out, dying quick but not on the spot.

“All clear, Captain,” Sam’s voice crackled through, and Steve could hear him reloading the guns from above them and through his comm. Steve nodded and watched the door for a few seconds, speaking into the comm when nobody else came out.

“Alright. Tony and Sam will stay out here and keep an eye on the place and leave updates where needed. Natasha, Clint and I will scope the place and take out anyone while you do. Understood?”

Nobody said anything back, but Clint and Natasha nodded at him, so he pointed to the door, sprinting out of habit to it quickly and opening the metal door as quickly as he good. Steve walked in first, with his two comrades walking behind him and his bulletproof shield, raised up to cover their torsos. The room was bare and small, a narrow hallway leading to a stairwell that led down, proving Natasha’s earlier assumption to be correct.

“There’s a stairwell, we’re heading down,” Steve updated quickly, cringing briefly when his voice carefully bounced on the walls. They slowly made their way down the stair case, narrow enough that they had to form a single file, Steve making his way down without making a move in his steps. Natasha had taught them all that, and he had a moment of gratitude for it.

“I can’t hear anything,” Steve mumbled when they reached the bottom, barely lit by the fading light in the middle of the entrance room. He could faintly see light fluttering through from the other room, but as they slowly made their way through the only floor, they saw everything was left in a hazard, lights on and machines still running and none of the equipment packed away.

Natasha lifted her comm to her mouth when static sounded from the other side. “Nobody else is down here, we’re heading back now. You guys okay up there?”

Tony answered. “Yeah, we-“ his voice cut off, and when his voice spoke again, it was a whisper. “Wilson, you see him?”

“Yeah, yeah I can. Is that- “

“I think so.”

“Oi,” Steve’s voice cut them off, and he sped up his pace with Natasha and Clint. “What is going on?”

Sam spoke up now, voice still quiet. “It’s- SHIT.” His voice warped into something louder, and a whoosh of air blew from his side, his comm suddenly dying and going quiet with a quick static yell. Steve went to speak up again, but a loud crash echoed from the area of the stair case, feet shuffling as the presumed figures made their way up the stairwell.

Steve grabbed his company and started racing, letting them go when they got to the stairs. “You’ve got incoming, some HYDRA agents hid and their coming up now.”

He didn’t hear anything back, and when they made it to the entrance of the hide out, quickly ducked behind the walls next to the door, Clint by his side and Natasha staring back at him. There were six agents out there, and by the sound of gunshots, Steve could guess they had guns. Steve raised his wrist to his mouth, “Tony, Sam, is anyone there?”

“Tony here, Sam’s comm is out, he broke his wrist. He’s in the trees shooting,” Tony’s voice was short, and he stopped to fire out, the repulse letting out a loud bang in their ears. “Steve, listen, we- “

“No time, Stark. Let us know when we can come out and help.”

Tony sighed, sounding miffed. “Now would be great, thanks,” his voice dripped with his usual sassy tone, and Natasha was up at the words. Her handgun was pulled out, and she peaked around the doorway to fire a shot, a shout sounding just after. She barely ducked behind the door to miss the returning shot.

Steve turned to Clint, leaning close to him. “I’ll go out first and cover you with my shield, got it?”

Clint nodded, flashing a grin. “Right behind you, Captain.”

Steve quickly fixated his shield sturdily to his arm, before ducking out of the doorway and onto the forest ground, covering himself with his shield just in time to block two incoming bullets. He felt Clint’s knees against his back, watching as he took out an agent with an arrow, leaving four more standing. They were fast, eyes wandering and keep their ears open for the sounds around them.

Steve was constantly moving to block Clint and Natasha from the opposing shots and allowing them to fire where they wanted, and with the combined efforts of them and Tony, slowly began to dwindle them down to two agents. Sam had put down the gun and was apparently residing high in the trees safely. Steve froze when he was switching to Natasha’s side when he saw a silver shine from the forest edge, letting out a slow but loud wince when his upper thigh caught a direct bullet, covering Natasha quickly. He didn’t let his eyes off the tree line, and then two bullets were fired from that area, taking down the final remind HYDRA agents and leaving the area in dead silence.

Tony landed, his face plate removing to show his face as he looked at Steve. The three of them moved to him, and he looked up at him. “I tried to tell you, but you didn’t want to listen.”

Steve peaked around and couldn’t see Bucky, but his metal arm caught the sunlight, revealing his location. That had to purposeful, right? Bucky wasn’t so stupid to let himself get caught like that… Steve stepped forward, ignoring the pain that flared in his right leg. “Bucky?”

The figure in the trees didn’t move for a second, but he eventually walked out, revealing himself to indeed be Bucky. He was wearing ratty jeans and a shirt that hung off him slightly, and he looked less bulky then before, thinner. He loosely held a handgun similar in appearance to Natasha’s, and his hair looked greasy enough to be disgusting, but it was Bucky Barnes and that’s all Steve cared about.

“Do you know who I am?” Steve asked, and he could barely contain his nervous shaking. He was thrown right back into the boy from Brooklyn who lived with his best friend and the winter nights they huddled close for warmth, or the evenings spent on the fire escape when Steve felt healthy enough for it.

Bucky’s face didn’t change. “You’re Steve. I read about you in a museum, they said we were friends.”

Steve nodded slowly, watching the way Bucky tensed up at the words, and how his metal hand twitched ever so slightly. “You’re right, but I know you’re lying.”

Bucky took a deep breath and looked hesitant as he went to speak. Steve, instead, whirled around when a hand got clapped on his shoulder, looking at Tony. “Now, how I love the fact you two have been reunited, we have a HYDRA base to blow up. May I?”

Steve looked at him for a few seconds before he nodded. “Alright. Fury’s asked us to go directly back to the tower though,” he turned to Bucky again, thankful he was still there and hadn’t run away. Or was there and not a part of Steve imagination. “You’re welcome to join us, Bucky, if you want.”

Bucky nodded, but he didn’t get closer. He joined Natasha on the ride back, and even though Sam was sitting in front of him on the bike ride back (cradling his right wrist), Steve still felt dangerously cold.

-

Bucky moves in with them, gets a proper thank you from Fury for his silent help with the HYDRA bases, gave Fury more locations for them. Tony fitted an entire floor for Bucky, right below Steve, making sure to not fit any windows or dark spots in, and Bucky had stars in his eyes when Tony showed him the place. He didn’t talk much and would go days without being seen. Steve was vaguely reminded of Tony, of the days the Stark would spend down in the workshop, only coming up because Jarvis would remind him that he needed to eat, go to meetings, socialise with his friends again.

Clint tells Steve that Bucky started seeing the therapist he had after the Loki incident, one that Clint still occasionally saw when he really needed it. It was easier to talk to Natasha most days now, he always said. Sam (with a cast now) tells him how Bucky spent a lot of time in the gym punching the shit out of gym bags like Steve had done when he woke up.

“You okay?”

Steve hummed groggily and looked over at Natasha, who looked just as tired as he was, and he nodded, kissing his cheek gently. “Yeah, just thinking. I might go to the gym for a bit.”

“It’s five am,” Natasha deadpanned, but Steve wasn’t listening, gently coaxing her off his arm and sitting up, not caring about his naked skin before getting dressed in loose clothes.

-

Steve didn’t miss the way Bucky was staring at his arm with a furrowed brow, gently clenching a fist before his teeth grit, barely audible if not for Steve’s enhanced hearing. He placed down the drawing book, shutting it and covering it with the pencil he was using, as if it’d hide the drawing he was in the progress of doing. “Buck? You okay?”

Bucky looked up sharply, like he always did when someone addressed him. It was different to the Bucky Steve use to know, and he had to swallow down saying it every time it happened. “My… arm. Hurts when I use it sometimes.”

Steve frowned, not realising he’d sat closer, or that Bucky let him. “Do you want to see Tony- “

“It’s fine,” Bucky pressed instead, pulling down his sleeve to cover the limb. “Don’t want to bother him.”

“You kidding me? Tony would be all over examining your arm, he’s a dork like that.”

Steve remembered when he hated Tony, when they first met and how Tony had given him shit like he was anyone else. He realised now, years later, that Tony was an amazing person who just seemed to have so many walls out, and Steve was glad to have pulled a lot of them down to be where he was now. Bucky watched him for a few seconds with a blank face, the one that meant he was analysing somebody. He eventually looked away. “…Maybe. If it gets worse.”

Steve wanted to press more, but he left it, instead moving back to his corner of the couch and picking up his book again. Bucky sat for a few minutes before walking out, and Steve didn’t see him again that day.

-

Bucky started joining the group training sessions, the ones that begun on Wednesday mornings with the sun rising and finished with the stars in the sky, a movie night on a cramped couch. He said it was because he wanted to stay in shape, but Steve could see the old Bucky in those cold eyes, the one that jumped into a fight when he had to, no questions asked. It brought back memories of the war, where Bucky was ruthless in taking down the Nazi’s, the opposing soldiers who stood in their way, HYDRA. It made Steve smile softly at the memories.

“Alright everyone, lets just do some sparring to finish off. Tony, you’re with Tasha- hey, don’t look at me like that. It’ll be good for you, she’ll teach you something. Clint and Sam, Thor and Bruce- and this time, don’t start kissing. We’re happy for you, but nobody wants that.”

Tony whooped loudly, drowning out how Sam groaned in agreement. Thor puffed out his chest and smiled happily, and Bruce matched the smile, much shyer with the heavy blush of embarrassment on his cheeks.

Bucky wandered over to him. “Steve?”

Steve jumped back into the world, his mind having wandered off as he watched the others spar. He smiled at Bucky with pure happiness, ignoring how Natasha was looking at them as soon as they started speaking. “I was thinking we could spar, Buck. The last time I saw you fight was in ’45, y’know.”

Bucky flinched, before glaring at him. “The last you saw me fight, _Rogers_ , was- “

“And that wasn’t Bucky, that was the Winter Solider,” Steve cut him off, matching his glare before getting into a fighting stance, melting his face into a cheeky smile. “C’mon _Barnes_ , show me your stuff.”

Bucky stared at him before moving to face him down, and his stance changed immediately, back straight and knees bent. His fists moved to form fists in front of his face, and he looked expectantly at Steve, as if waiting for him to move first.

They fought tooth to nail before Steve had himself pressed down into the mat face first with a metal hand pushing his shoulders down, and he had to ignore the boner pressing against his sweats, instead flipping them over, grinning. “Alright, fine then. I won’t hold back this time.”

Bucky laughed. “You were holding back, really? You don’t need to hide your full strength from me, Captain, bring it on.”

-

Later, Bucky leaned against him on the couch, ignoring the others and the movie as he leaned in to whisper to him. “I didn’t even think about… The Asset, when I was fighting you. It felt like old times, I think.”

Steve leaned back to whisper, “I’m glad, I missed you,” before Tony was throwing popcorn at their bodies, telling them to shut up and enjoy the movie. Bucky didn’t move away, and Steve found himself enjoying the warmth in his side, the one he’d missed for years now.

-

Steve hummed, half asleep as he felt Natasha’s finger nails scrape down his cheek very lightly, the way that made him smile calmly. Natasha watched him with a careful eye, and unlike Steve, appeared wide awake. “I think we need to talk.”

“What about?” Steve asked, voice quiet and slurry, tired mind not catching her serious tone. Natasha didn’t seem to mind, pressing up to rest her chin on her elbow. The blanket fell to her waist, revealing her naked chest, but Steve didn’t have his eyes open to notice it. “I think we should stop with the sex.”

Steve seemed to wake up slightly from that, opening his eyes and blinking to adjust to the sudden light. He didn’t seem alarmed, but he furrowed his brows at Natasha, because what brought this on? “Okay? I can’t exactly force you into this, but what makes you want to stop?”

Natasha looked dumfounded for a few seconds. “Because you’re obviously pining over Bucky, you idiot.”

Steve’s eyes budged, and his cheeks reddened when he spoke. “That obvious?”

Natasha huffed a laugh and flopped back down. He let out an annoyed sounding huff in return, “Hey, nobody noticed for ten years back then, I didn’t expect anyone to notice now!”

Natasha sobered up quickly. “That long?”

“…Yeah.”

Natasha hummed gently and sat there for a few seconds before kissing his cheek. “Well, I can _assure_ Bucky that the sex is great, if he doesn’t- “

“Don’t say that!” Steve barked out, causing Natasha to laugh as she got up and begun getting dressed, having already washed herself down with a cloth when they’d finished half an hour before.

She nodded. “You’re right. Because I can still assure him the sex is good, even though he does like you.”

“You don’t know that.”

She gave him the side eye when she pulled up her jeans. “What do you think we talk about in Russian? The weather?” After a second of silence, she groaned. “I just realised that I have to find someone else as good as you. Barnes better be happy I’m giving you up for him, lucky boy…”

Steve laughed gently, his cheeks flaming even more now.

-

Bucky started remembering things better now, started to share memories he had with Steve. They’d spent an entire afternoon in the main living space recounting memories of their childhood slowly, letting their laughter take up the room. Bucky was much different now, as if he’d left parts of himself on that train before he fell, imprinted himself into Steve’s memories for years to come. But Steve found himself loving this Bucky just as much as the one he met in Brooklyn all those years ago, even if parts of him were opposites than what they use to be.

“Good morning, Captain Rogers.”

Steve hummed gently and filled a glass with water. “Good morning Jarvis,” He spoke before taking a mouth full. “Is the weather good for a run?”

“Indeed, Captain. It’s expected to rain by early lunch, so I suggest you shorten it for today,” Jarvis replied. At first, Steve didn’t like the AI simply for being so advance. He was fine with things such as the phones and internet, but a talking robot? It was a little farfetched for him in the beginning. Now, however, Steve could say Jarvis was certainly a helpful part of his life.

He took another mouthful, finishing off the water. “Thanks Jarvis, I’ll do that. Can I have my morning report?”

Jarvis waited until Steve had begun brushing his teeth to answer. “You only have a two o’clock meeting with Fury today, to discuss more locations and possible mission scheduling. Your afternoon brunch with Tony has been cancelled and moved to tomorrow as an early lunch, as Sergeant Barnes has asked for his arm to be looked at today- “

Steve spat his toothpaste out into the sink. “Is he okay?” He asked quickly, before continuing to brush his teeth, at a quicker pace now.

“Certainly. Tony hasn’t discussed it with me, but I can assume it’ll be about what you both discussed early last month. Shall I continue?”

Steve nodded, not having to say anything for Jarvis to continue. “Barnes isn’t awake yet, as usual, but seems to have had a fitful sleep this evening. I recommended he grab a glass of milk, but he rejected the idea quickly. That was at 3:48 this morning. He also has nothing booked for today, but he has an appointment with Cheryl tomorrow at eleven thirty in the morning. Is that all, Captain Rogers?”

Steve spat the last of the toothpaste out, refilling the glass with water. “Yes. Thank you, Jarvis.”

“My pleasure, Captain. Call if you need me.”

-

Steve didn’t see him in those two days, but he was awoken Sunday morning with a knock on his door. He raced to throw on some pants (which were just some dirty joggers; typical) before he answered the door, seeing Bucky standing there. He looked ready to head back to bed, with eyes sunken in and a frown on his lips, but he looked up at Steve with fire in his eyes.

“Hey,” Steve said softly. “What’s the problem?”

“I- Well, I saw Tony the other day. About my arm,” Bucky said awkwardly, lifting his metal arm to emphasise. “He’s spending all of today to work on it, and I thought to ask if you wanted to come.”

Steve perked up, “Really?”

Bucky nodded. “Yeah. He- well, I want you there. I’m… nervous.”

Steve let his excitement dwindle so he could pull Bucky in for a hug, something that was growing easy between them again quickly, just like it used to be. It was weird hugging Bucky now; after Steve got the serum, he was barely used to hugging a small Bucky, rather than a bigger Bucky like now. But he felt good, to hold Bucky against him and hold him tightly.

“You’ll be fine. Okay, let me get dressed, and I’ll be out shortly.”

-

“Did he tell you we’re replacing the arm?”

Steve looked sharply up to Tony, who was setting out tools needed for… Steve would’ve said fix it, but apparently it was a replacement. “No, he didn’t. how come?”

Tony shrugged. “The tech that HYDRA used was really good, but I made something better. And Barnes said that he hated looking at the arm, that it reminded him too much of… well, he said this wouldn’t be much better, but that it looked nice.”

Tony went around to another work bench and ducked under to pull a tray out, covered in a white cloth, before placing it on the space next to where Bucky would be in minutes time. He whipped off the cover and revealed an arm of similar size, with a bunch of chords covering it. It was black and shined dark blue under the artificial light, and in the bicep was printed the Avenger’s ‘A’. Steve smiled when he saw it, “He’s seen it?”

Tony nodded. “He helped design it, yeah. The ‘A’ was his idea even.”

Steve smiled wider at that, happy Bucky was making so much progress. The glass doors to the lab opened then, and Bucky walked in, hair tied up tightly (the way he hated it) and shirtless. Steve stared obviously and caught the cunning smirk planted on Tony’s face, causing him to flush and turn away. He didn’t turn back until Bucky spoke up, now seated on the work station seat, reclined so he was lying down. Tony sat next to him, workbench to Tony’s left to grab everything needed. “How long should it take?”

Tony picked up a screwdriver. “Only a few hours, if no complications happen. Hey, don’t look at me like that, I didn’t say I think they’ll happen!” Tony huffed out at the end, grumbling something about nobody having faith in him, before gesturing to Steve. “Move closer, Rogers. Barnes need support right now, you dolt.”

Steve moved his wheel over, so he was to Bucky’s right, looking down at him. Bucky met his eyes and spoke to him. “Brings up memories of HYDRA, when they had to work on my arm after missions.”

Steve smiled sadly at him. “You’re not there anymore.”

Bucky smiled, less solemn and calmer. “I know. You both couldn’t pull off being HYDRA agents anyway; you’re too kind.”

Tony snorted, but didn’t say anything about it. “I told you this was going to hurt, Barnes. S’your last chance to let me put you to sleep before I start working on it.”

Bucky shook his head. “No way. Besides, I can take a little pain.”

Steve suspected there was a little more behind it, but Tony didn’t mention it if he noticed too, only sighing. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Lift it up so I can get to your armpit- there we go.”

-

There weren’t any complications, other than the fact that Tony did have to put him to sleep eventually, and Bucky didn’t like that sound of it at all.

“I know I know, but otherwise your arm won’t work as well,” Tony pressed, standing up now and pacing to try and prove his point. Bucky was still lying on the operating chair, clutching Steve with his skin hand, his only hand at that point, which was weird to see. “It’s just so I can hook up the wires and stuff to your brain, so you can move it like it’s a real arm.”

Bucky was silent after that but did agree in a hesitant grumble. Steve wanted to kiss the frown away. He didn’t.

“He should wake up in a few minutes,” Tony said as he finished up cleaning, sitting next to Steve on the couch. “You’re an idiot.”

“I know,” Steve said back, not bothering to argue when Tony obviously had seen Steve swoon over Bucky. He was still shirtless, for fucks sake.

“As long as you know.”

-

Bucky caught Steve as soon as he returned from his run the next morning, drink bottle shaking with the liquid inside that he hadn’t finished. He was shirtless again, an odd sight but one that was certainly not unwelcomed. Bucky wasn’t touching him with the metal arm, something he did on days where he wasn’t feeling too good. “Steve.”

“You okay?” he asked back, before tugging his shoulder. “Come up with me whilst I get more appropriate, c’mon.”

Bucky nodded, following Steve up to his section of the tower. It was common knowledge to all the Avengers that Bucky spent more time in Steve’s apartment than his own; with Steve than anyone else, and even with Bucky topless, nobody would find it out of the ordinary. Steve left him in the bedroom whilst he quickly freshened up in the bathroom, returning with a plain shirt and jeans on. Bucky was flexing his metal fingers.

Steve sat down next to him slowly. “Are you alright?”

“It’s so real,” Bucky breathed, and he looked up at Steve with a wild gaze. “It feels like… like skin, Steve. I can feel everything as if it was an actual arm, and it’s not as loud. I probably wouldn’t hear it if HYDRA hadn’t drugged me up at the beginning.”

Steve didn’t flinch anymore by the casual mentions of HYDRA and everything they’d done to Bucky; Bucky joked about it to make himself feel better, so Steve played along, even if it tore him up on the inside to hear them. “Good?”

“God yes,” Buck exhaled, laughed before bumping his shoulder on Steve’s, still his skin one. His nipples were darker in comparison to his skin colour, and Steve could’ve groaned out loud if he didn’t have any dignity. “Stark is a fucking genius.”

Steve smiled at him despite his predicament. “I told you, Buck. I’m glad it worked out for you.”

Bucky nodded and smiled at Steve liked he was a million dollar. “I owe so much to you, pal. Really!” he pressed when Steve made a face at him, and Bucky stood up to shove him properly, this time with the new arm. It was powerful, taking him surprise and causing Steve to fall back into the bed unexpectedly. They laughed, and Steve took the chance to get his revenge, grabbing Bucky by the belt loops and pulling him forward, tumbling on the king bed together.

Bucky stopped laughing when Steve managed to pin him down, and the blonde felt an eternal panic rise in him when he thought he’d done something wrong. He went to pull back, apologies spilling from his lips as hard as a crashing waterfall, but Bucky stopped him by reaching a metal hand out to grab Steve’s shirt. This time, they both froze.

“Bucky?”

“I don’t remember doing this,” Bucky said back instantly, and Steve swallowed.

“Yeah. We didn’t.”

Bucky looked over Steve slowly, licking his lips and oh god, Steve was a goner. “Then I remember wanting to this.”

Steve stared back at him, as if to challenge him to take the words back, but Bucky looked at him with a solid face, and didn’t say anything. Steve leaned down and gripped his shoulders with shaking hands, enveloping their lips together and letting out an involuntary shudder, because he’s wanted this for eighty years now, maybe closer to ninety if he bothered to count it.

Bucky was quick to push the kiss into something less than innocent, his hands gripped Steve’s waist with venom and shoving their bodies more together, running his tongue on Steve’s lips teasingly. Steve only moaned and opened, feeling his entire body shiver from the heat of their mouths and tongues sharing slowly and delicately. Bucky groaned into their kiss at the slow and torturous feeling of their hips grinding together, but once they’d started, they couldn’t bring themselves to stop the motion.

“Bucky,” Steve whimpered and couldn’t help himself. He pulled back from their heated kiss to just admired the man under him, run his hands over his hard chest and perky nipples, which caused Bucky to jump when rubbed over. It was so much different to a woman’s body, to someone with a figure like Natasha’s, who was more smooth and curvy, even with her added muscle. He found himself liking Bucky’s body more, but maybe he was biased because of the person.

“Want you to fuck me,” Bucky groaned out, not missing a beat to rub at Steve from under his shirt. Steve remembers feeling more sensitive after the serum, and maybe Bucky was like that too, twitching at every touch just like Steve.

“Yeah?” Steve breathed, pushing Bucky away to throw off the t-shirt, and he groaned when hands instantly grabbed at his pecs. Thumbs brushed his nipples and he jerked forward, causing them both to moan when their crotches rubbed through their pants, and Steve whimpered at the sensations to his body. It was clear Bucky had more control of the situation, even if he wanted Steve to take him like he’d asked, and he loved that.

Bucky sat up, Steve basically sitting in his lap now, and Steve felt himself shiver when Bucky gently nibbled his ear. “Yeah Stevie, always wanted you to fuck me. Do you want that?”

“Yes,” Steve moaned out, hastily grabbing out at Bucky’s back with his hands, feeling Bucky’s own undo the button of his jeans. Steve pulled back to let him, and stood up when Bucky shoved him further, pulling down his jeans and standing there in only his boxers. Bucky was pulling down his own sweats, showing how he was wearing nothing underneath, grinning at Steve when he snorted. He pulled down his own jocks before climbing back on the bed, kneeling between Bucky’s spread knees.

Bucky grabbed the back of Steve thighs, smoothing his hands up and down the skin until he was able to grab handfuls of his ass, humming. He leaned up closer, so he could press his lips to Steve’s torso, running kisses up and down the wide expanse of skin, but he paid close attention to Steve nipples when the blonde jumped. Bucky’s hands seemed to grip his globes harder as he gently sucked on Steve’s right, feeling him press against him from the attention. He moaned when a hand weaved through his long hair and tugged him back, hard enough to pull him away.

Steve looked down at him for a few seconds before tugging again, loving how Bucky followed it with a sound falling from his lips. He pushed him back before climbing closer to the side of the bed, pulling out a bottle of lube and a condom out of the drawer, climbing back over. Bucky was on his back with his legs still spread to accommodate Steve, who held his thighs.

“God, your thighs…” Steve’s voice sounded cracked almost, but he didn’t seem to take notice of it as he raced his hands over Bucky’s thighs, thick under his palms. Bucky groaned when they got to close to his crotch and bucked his hips up.

“Stop teasing, punk, c’mon,” Steve laughed and nodded, tossing the condom onto the expanse of the bed and popping open the lid for the lube. Before Natasha came along, when he’d had maybe three flings, he remembers having sex with another guy for the first time and how much he loved it, especially using his fingers to open him up. He didn’t get to do that with Natasha, and as he slowly slid his index finger into Bucky, shuddered with relief from the feeling.

Bucky tensed slightly under him, head falling back onto the pillows. “’ve never done with before,” He admitted, voice quieter than it had been moments ago.

Steve stilled his finger, already two knuckles in. “Do you want to stop?”

Bucky shook his head, looking offended even at the suggestion. “Hell no. Just go slow, Stevie.”

Steve nodded, and started pumping his finger in and out of Bucky slowly, waiting until Bucky’s entire body was practically melting into the mattress to add his middle finger too. Bucky didn’t tense up at this one, thrusted back slightly when Steve scissored them slowly, letting out a low moan. He jumped under Steve’s actions when he brushed his prostate, and it did it a few more times just to hear that startled cry fall out of Bucky’s lips, back arching for more.

He added a third, and Bucky fell apart when he started thrusting them again, back arching as if it’d work and give him so much more. “Oh Steve, c’mon please I’m ready, please give it to me already please.”

Steve hummed and leaned down, pressing a kiss to Bucky’s nose gently. His eyes were scrunched shut. “I’ve got you, Buck, it’s okay. Just a little more, I promise.”

Bucky nodded quickly, arched and shuddered under his preparations. He let out a moan of both relief and disappointment when Steve pulled his fingers out, and he couldn’t help but grin down at Bucky at the actions. Steve ripped off the condom and rolled it on himself in record time, popping open the lube again to slick himself up. He’d ignored his own throbbing heat to focus on Bucky, and he couldn’t help but wrap a hand around his cock and moan in relief at the sensation.

_“Steve.”_

Steve looked down at Bucky and pressed closer, finally pressed the tip of his dick against Bucky’s entrance, and they both filled the room with loud groans when he started pushing in, so slow even if Steve’s instincts wanted him to go faster. He completely stopped when he was all the way in, eyes closed as he listened to Bucky breathing deeply below him.

He groaned when Bucky’s metal hand gripped the side of his narrow waist. “God Buck,” he leaned down, both gasping at the slight movement, to kiss him. “Wanted you for so long,” he moaned against his lips, the kiss messy but so good.

Bucky’s hand gripped tighter. “Tell me.”

Steve nodded, thrusting when Bucky pushed him back with his hand, Bucky’s noises going straight through his nerves and to his cock. He thrusted slowly as words dripped out of his mouth without his consent, “You always looked so good, Buck. Hated how you dated all those girls, never looked at me like you did at them. Wanted you to treat me like a dame if that’s what it took, oh God Bucky.”

Bucky whimpered, both of his hands gripping Steve now. “Always did, punk. Loved how pretty you always looked, always wanted to pull you into my lap and have my way with you.”

Steve groaned, feeling Bucky’s hair press to the side of his face when he leaned into the junction of his neck and shoulder, his pace picking up slightly. “You feel so good Buck, god, please,” he moaned. He didn’t know what he was asking for, but he desperately wanted it.

Bucky nodded frantically. “Harder, baby. I can take it, please.”

Steve groaned and obeyed, his hips picking up speed, hands grasping at Bucky’s side. Bucky’s hands moved to grip Steve’s shoulders again and he could bruise with the grip he had, but Steve didn’t notice, only letting his jaw hang open against his shoulder as he fucked into Bucky. Bucky was moaning loudly, blurting out filthy things between noises that rocked Steve to his core.

Bucky’s palms held tighter when Steve angled it right against his prostate, and Steve suddenly pulled away to move Bucky’s legs to wrap around his waist, practically drooling at how muscular they were under his palms. Bucky arched his back out and moaned louder, now that Steve was hitting his prostate repeatedly, filth pouring from his lips. “Steve- fuck, baby doll I’m going to come, oh god please Stevie.”

Steve nodded, his right hand moving to wrap around Bucky’s flushed cock, left still gripping his thigh with a death grip that felt so good. Bucky was gone as soon as he was jerked off, ribbons of white liquid shooting out and staining his chest, repeating Steve’s name in a mantra. Steve only had to thrust a few more times before he was pulling apart as well, leaning down sharply to kiss Bucky and muffle his moans, saliva messily coming apart at their kiss.

They calmed down gently, first with Bucky’s legs falling to the bed limply and then with Steve pulling up, tying up the condom and throwing it to the waist basket before he moved to the bathroom, hearing Bucky breath to catch his breath and whimper his name. Steve returned with a washcloth and clean hands, climbing onto the bed and gently cleaning off Bucky’s chest, kissing him slowly as he did. Bucky didn’t let him move away when he was done, wrapping his arms around Steve’s shoulders and gently shoving his tongue in Steve’s mouth, lips pulling up to smile into the kiss at the quiet sound that caught loudly in Steve’s throat.

“God, I love you,” Bucky whispered when they pulled away, breath ghosting Steve’s still wet lips. Steve could’ve cried.

“Next time tell me before you fall off a train,” Steve spoke back, voice as quiet, erupting a loud laugh out of Bucky that made his stomach heat up in delight. Steve smiled and leaned down to kiss him again, lips already mumbling out his reciprocations so only Bucky could hear, even if nobody was listening in on them.


End file.
